Going Home From Chemo #1
My original title of this post was going to be "The Retreat of the Snark." Isn't that very military? Or perhaps Renaissance? Maybe I'm getting too full of myself and am too much in my head?
June 17th. Regular, planned mammogram on the last day of school.
Call backs. June 20th. Mammogram Part 2. Biopsy. World begins to turn.
Over the past few years I have tried to embrace my Type A personality so that I am not trying to control the planet, but embrace what comes at me. I read back to my posts here in MausiGal, and see many times I did this with snark. It's no surprise that I did joke with Kidlet A and B that my license plate was going to be SNARKY. Give it to me! Don't like my cookies because you don't like sugar? Snark! Don't like the fact that I adore flip flops? Snark!
Snark.
Of course I'm totally off topic now and I google boojum and find this:
Boojum Mexican Burrito Bar
My mind starts thinking about how I can incorporate this into my "Comidas - Parte 2" lesson tomorrow. To middle schoolers the word "Boojum" is just going to be way too funny. How do I know? Because I think my mind is stuck at age twelve.
This is a good thing.
The snark is leaving. I caught myself in the car the other day doing the Boston MausiGal Car Snark bit. This involves the other person driving's...
1) Make of car
2) Speed of Driving
3) Use of cell phone (this is allowable snark - GET OFF THE ROAD and/or PULL OVER!)
4) Excessive avoidance of wee, little pot holes in a non-spring month in New England. Seriously - I love the "avoid the pot hole" game to show my driving expertise, but a dead squirrel (sad face - means winter is coming soon!) in the road is not the same as a pot hole. You don't need to get five feet over for said dead animal / pot hole / shirt thrown out the window from night of college revelry (or perhaps Book Club Revelry. I hear them Suburban Book Clubs GET DOWN!).
Cancer Teaches.
Yes. For my Postcrossing status (Postcrossing Forum) I had "Cancer sucks." Since I returned to school on Monday the true meaning of why I am going through this illness shines through.
Cancer Teaches.
Yet this may be only for me. EACH PERSON HAS THEIR OWN CANCER JOURNEY! Some people can do chemo, work out at the gym two days later, and then take a flight to Australia. ¿Yo? I don't want to document it publicly. My recovery involved having Saul and Seal (rescue doggies!) close to my side in my bed, keeping my warm where I was in pain. Baking on a few afternoons because I couldn't lie down or sit down because that would hurt so much.
The Neroli candle Kindergarten Artist Friend gave me. I am hooked!
When I went into the Friends' Place at Dana Farber to choose a wig, I noticed they had a board with all sorts of bracelets to sell for different types of cancer. Then it hit me.
- Breast Cancer
- Bone Cancer
- Pancreatic Cancer
- Esophageal Cancer
- Cervical Cancer
- Prostate Cancer
- Ovarian Cancer
- Skin Cancer (Melanoma)
- Testicular Cancer
#epicfail
Or is it?
The anchor. The symbol of hope. #deltagammaforlife
(from The Friends' Place in Dana Farber)
I teach my students that what you think is a failure is your superpower. I actually tweeted about this yesterday. I am trying to reframe this with cancer. I know some of you are right now thinking, "Um, Mausigal? Put down the coffee and eat some salsa and chips." But I mean it.
These past few weeks have shown me the power of friendship, community, and being an EDUCATOR. If you're reading my blog and you think, "Should I teach?" email me right now and I'll give you my phone number and we're going to talk! My colleagues and students came through for me these past few weeks more than I can image. Let's include the families, too. I'm not trying to say that I'm some freakin' rock star who deserves adoration. Cancer shows you that there are people in your realm who are kind. Who want to share their stories. Want to learn more. Want to help others, even if doesn't have to do with cancer. Who want to become better, empathetic people. That last line has stood out to me the most over the past two days in my work. Never, ever put down students. They are the most valuable resource we have on earth.
Family. Friends. Colleagues. Sorority sisters. Students.
I am overwhelmed with the support I receive, and it has taught me this:
- Retreat the Snark.
- Life. Too Short.
- DO GOOD
- Embrace the joy and share it with whomever you come into contact with!
The guy at the gas station. The checkout clerk at Market Basket. Your dog walker. Your boss. Your boss' boss. The owner of your company via email. The roommate from college twenty plus years ago.
Because everyone wants to be loved. They may not respond or smile or look. But you have given them a hope they so desperately need.
BECAUSE YOU ARE AMAZING. YOU HAVE SUPERPOWERS!
Don't ever freakin' forget it!
I love you all from the bottom of my heart!
Xoxo Mausigal (and sorry this is so long and you probably had to go out and buy two venti lattes to read it!)
I love you friend! I love this post too. When I had skin cancer, I had surgery to remove it from my face on the day before my birthday. I told a few families of former students that I was very close to so they wouldn't hear about it from someone else. They surprised me by emailing me and asking me to go out to my porch, where they had driven (25 minutes away) and left a card, flowers and dinner for my family for the day of the surgery. When I walked into school- on my 40th birthday, which also happened to be picture day- with a ridiculous, giant bandage strapped to my face, I was met with lots of nervous smiles and kids who were trying so hard to avoid staring at me. I decided to tell them about the cancer since there was no way that I was hiding it from them this time. It made me feel good to know that somewhere along the way, some kid might have a parent with any cancer diagnosis and to realize that it IS possible to make it through cancer, though everybody's journey will be different and some will have it harder than others. It was nice for them to see me as a human and I gave them a chance to ask questions. Very occasionally, a new student now might ask me about the scar on my face and sometimes a student jumps in and answers before I can even say it.
ReplyDeleteTeaching is hard and draining, but it is so worth the investment in people. I have had bad times, but the blessings that I have received from being part of this community and interacting with thousands of kids and families over the years has far outweighed those.
You rock and I'm so glad you are feeling loved and supported. <3 We'll catch up soon when you're up to it!