Vermont helped change things around. Perhaps the change in scenery for two weeks, sitting by the lake with books and hanging out not only with Kidlet A and B, but also the Twinners - my niece and nephew who are nine years old. Seeing the world through their eyes truly opened up my heart quite a bit. I saw what was important once again.
I'm so happy to say that today, September 16, 2017, I'm in a fabulous place. I've never felt better. Maybe I'm going to make some people sick with this post of positivity, but here goes. What did I do to turn around what was basically an awful situation?
1) I found my tribe - Lately the word "tribe" seems to be popping up all over the place, so I guess it's time I incorporated it into a blog post. But in all seriousness, I began to reconnect with people both in person and online. I now have a small group of people whom I can depend upon to call in a time of crisis, extreme happiness, and just to chat with. Some are in person, some are online, and yes, some are by snail mail.
2) Haters gonna hate - On that same note, I realized that there are frenemies even at my age. These people will be nice to you in person, or online, only to wish for you to fail. Who knows why? I no longer care to know why, because I'm not going to change them. And I realize now that their friendship is worth diddlysquat (did I just use that word in a sentence?). There are also the people who are just plain cruel - while you pass them on the highway, in the checkout line at the supermarket, you name it! Guess what? You're probably never going to see them again, so let them go. You cut me off on the highway? Awesome. Have fun. Your car sucks (just kidding).
3) I GOT A DOG - This was probably the BEST thing that turned me around. I should have got a dog again a long time ago, but the timing was perfect this past August. Our dog, Saul, has taught me again how to drop everything and just play. Forget the papers I need to grade, the dinner that has to be made, the bills I have to pay - PLAY! Saul is also so damn happy. How could I not be happy with that face following me around everywhere?
4) Good tunes that resonate - I discovered, for myself, the band Twenty-One Pilots. I had a student last year who was fanatical about them, and at that time I only knew the song, "Heathens." Wowsa. I'm hooked. With lyrics like "Sometimes you gotta bleed to know/That you're alive and have a soul" they were just the band I was looking for. Jam out - forget about everything.
5) Adiós, online dating! - I mentioned this before on Facebook. I ditched that world. In my past nine years of being divorced, I've been on the four top websites at one time or another. Even though my accounts had been hidden or deleted, for some reason I would still get emails from people. Odd. I investigated this online, and found that if your picture and profile are still in their system, at times it can come up and people can contact you. ARGH! So, I went back on those sites, deleted all the photos, deleted all the text, and got rid of all the info in those silly little boxes that were suppose to match me with the love of my life.
6) Rediscovered my passions - For a few years now I haven't been writing. If you look back, you'll see I used to blog all the time. I loved it. I recently explained to a potential member of my Writer's Club at school how I feel when I write - You know the high runners get when they run? That's me when I put words to paper. I get lost in those sentences. I've started writing so many postcards, pen pal letters, and blogging again. It feels SO GOOD!
My other passion? Teaching. I truly love being a teacher, and I didn't fully appreciate my strength with kids these past few years. I have faith in what I do. These students revitalize me on a daily basis. I am myself when I'm with them - silly, goofy, relaxed, yet at the same time encouraging, academic, and helping them try to become the best they can be as individuals. Yes, Spanish is important, but at the end of the day I want them to know that they are important individuals. Amen.
7) Gratitude - I am so incredibly thankful for all that I have. A friend suggested at the end of the day I make a list of ten things I'm grateful for. At first I thought that would be hard. Now I do it each night before I go to bed. Truly blessed - that's me. From the guys that came today from Trash Can Willy's to pick up my oversized 60" + TV that were so nice to my dad who listens to my caffeinated self as we drive around town each afternoon on errands. The big. The small. The in-between. When crap happens now I think of my gratitude list, and just how darn lucky I am. This too shall pass.
So yes. Here I am. Happy to be here...
