Filter This!

As I am determined to not become the Cat Lady of Clemsville, I continue to go out on dates.  Am I happy with myself and just being alone?  Yes, that too, but I do enjoy time with someone else.  So hence, as Dads says, there's a chair with my name on it at the The Java Room.  Mr. Right is quite elusive.

I've learned to filter what I say on these excursions.  The good dates have lasted a few hours.  The bad ones?  Yikes - one lasted a painful half hour.  I haven't encountered any bad people, it's just, as we say in the dating world, "that we're not a match."  What a catch phrase!  Thank you for your application, but at this time we cannot offer you a position.  Dating is a lot like interviewing for a job.  Hence why I have to filter what I say.

I talk a lot.  Combine that with the fact that I am a bit goofy and it can be a lethal combination.  My crazy imagination comes up with all sorts of funny ideas, and on a first date zingers could fly out of my mouth that would make even the bravest guy say, "What?"

Examples of first date questions, what is said, and what actually goes on in MausiGal's head:
Mr. Date - So, you like Volvos?
MausiGal - Love them!  I'm on Volvo Number Six.  My newest is a turbo.  Great car.
MG's Head - I actually name my cars.  My last car, even though it was a wagon, had a sporty, Italian name. I think my car is sexy.  And you should, too, if you're going to date me.  Volvos rock.

Mr. Date - You're a writer?  What's your book about?
MausiGal - The main character is a teen dealing with OCD.
Mr. Date - Oh.  Interesting.  Do you have OCD?
MausiGal - (brief little chuckle) Oh no!  I've had numerous students with this disorder, and done research.
MG's Head - Why are you asking something like that on a first date?  Nosy much?  Do you have any disorders?  It's called fiction, dude, and that's why I write it.  I don't have OCD.  Now I will play with the napkin and rip it into little pieces, and arrange them in neat piles, all organized.  And make you wonder!

Mr. Date - Do you have any pets?
MausiGal - I have a funny cat named Avi.  He's so goofy.  He actually bounces off of walls!
MG's Head - STOP THERE!  Do not talk about Avi sleeping in an old box that oranges came in, or how you talk to him in the morning.  Do not talk about how you're still in mourning for LilyCat, whom you had to put to sleep less than a month ago, and referred to yourself as "Cat Killer" for days after.  Please, please do not confess that your students love the shirt you own that has cats all over it.  Men do not find future cat ladies attractive.

Mr. Date - Are you close to your family?
MausiGal - Most definitely!  I've got the greatest parents, and brothers and sisters-in law that are just the best.  My niece and nephew mean the world to me.  I see them all the time.
MG's Head - My brother insists that I once tried to kill him with a jug of clothes detergent my chasing him and whipping it at his head.  He still holds a grudge from when I flushed his toothbrush down the toilet.  My other brother?  He and I love the movie The Boondock Saints.  The scene with the cat?  I won't confess that Dads and I can never find my car in the supermarket parking lot (oh wait - I did that yesterday on a date. Oops.)

Mr. Date - What are you looking for in a guy?
MausiGal - Someone who's optimistic, fun, spontaneous, smart...
MG's Head - Didn't you read that freakin' profile I wrote?  Do I need to inflate your ego more that you may get the job?  Guess so.

I want someone who doesn't ask me the usual dumb questions.  I want someone who asks me why I loved Ecuador.  I want a guy to find out why I write postcards each morning, and love going to the post office.  Someone who would like to know why I'm on a kick of listening to 1960's music.  I know, my standards seem incredibly high.  But why shouldn't they be?

Forget the filters.  I need to be goofy me.  Let it all out.  Then I'll find that hard to get, hard to find person.  If they can handle a MausiGal's mouth, then they will be the right one.

I Get Around: Driving, Dating, and Dying Cats

Ah, summer fun!  I mentioned before that I would have quite the summer, and 2013 is no exception.  

It started off with a bang.

A car accident.  The mighty, mighty Volvo was rear-ended by a young girl texting.  Ouch!  I was in Nashua sitting in traffic when I was hit.  I was ok, the Volvo was not.  Luckily it was just bumper damage, but I was angry.  Get off your phone!  As I stepped in the ambulance to have my neck and back checked, I hoped those driving by noticed that I was wearing what my mom refers to as my "Wizard of Oz" shoes - bright red with gold heels.  

What did I learn from this?  My novel deals with a girl in a car accident, and my own memories of being hit when I was younger came back quickly.  The sound of metal.  That fear as my head went forward at the steering wheel.  The anger.  The fear that I was really hurt as my whole body ached right after the accident.  But above all, the thankfulness that I was ok.  

So life goes on... And back in the Volvo I hop!

What have I been up to?  I'm back on the dating scene.  I few years ago I read a book titled 51/50, a book in which a woman goes on fifty-one dates in fifty weeks.  I thought that would be an admirable thing when I first hit the dating scene years ago, and like the author, I could find out a lot about myself.  No thanks.  Yes, I've met some nice people (doesn't everyone say that when they're dating?).  But shall I tell you about the guy whose photo was a blond, blue-eyed dude, described as tall and who showed up?  A George Costanza look-alike.  He downed five beers in less than two hours.  Hop in the Volvo and drive!  

OK, ok.  I won't be negative about the experience after that one odd one.  I am meeting very cool people who are extremely interesting.  Like Kristen McGuiness in 51/50, am I learning more about myself?  Of course.  Don't we learn more about ourselves with each and every person we meet?  

LilyCat.  My beloved, sweet Lily.  I learned from her that you can sit on a bed all day and do nothing and still be happy.  That may sound trite, but I don't think so at all.  Lily was eleven years old, and was diagnosed with diabetes.  For a week I tried to give her insulin shots twice a day.  She had special food.  Yet still Lily was drinking so much water and ruining my house.  At the end she had a reaction to the insulin, and I made the most difficult of decisions to put her down.  I hated being an adult at that moment.  Dads went with me, and Lily went to...sleep.  I would like to think of it that way, instead of referring to myself as the "cat killer" as I did at Starbucks afterwards with Dads.  I'm trying to still justify it in so many ways - her reaction to the diabetes, how awful she looked, and her fear when I gave her the shots.  Lily began to run each time she saw me.  I will remember her purr, as she curled up with me on my bad during my saddest of moments.  Love you, LilyCat.

Three different experiences, one summer.  And it's only mid-July.