Silent

I've become afraid of blogging.  Yes, I have all sorts of ideas in my head, but the notion of somehow offending someone, somewhere has started to overwhelm me.  I think it began a few years ago when I suggested to my sisters-n-law about a post about the "Market Basket Deli Rant."  In my mind the post was rather funny - people who go up and order five pounds of items, getting a sample for each one, contemplating the thickness of each slice.  ARGH!  All this at seven a.m.  My sisters-in-law slammed my snobbery, prodding me to contemplate who did I think I was with my mere order of a 2/3 pound of turkey and 2/3 pound of honey baked ham, no samples, no special instructions.  Other people had begged me to do the "Market Basket Deli Rant," but the piece fell to the wayside.  I was too afraid of the backlash.  I didn't want to express my opinions.

I think this is what it's come to with my writing.  I'm downright scared of pissing someone off that I just don't write.  Some pieces seem too personal.  Some pieces I start seem too generic.  I could always blog about the cats, I suppose.  But then someone, somewhere will claim I'm nothing but a cat lady, sitting in my house with the felines all day.  I guess I care too much about my audience when writing.  Perhaps that's really sad.  I used to thoroughly enjoy posting here, but now I'm downright scared.

I'm losing my voice.

I may start up a blog somewhere on the internet without my name, without links to Facebook (like I was doing), so I can write freely.  If people find me, so be it.  But in the land of the worldwide web, it will be hard to do.  Then I can write freely, and have an audience slam me at will - people who don't know me.  I miss writing.  But I don't know if this blog is the tool I want to use to express myself any longer.

I guess that's the danger in writing - one's always going to have an adversary somewhere.  Maybe I just need to learn to live with the critics.

Chocolate...and Life!

I found an amazing recipe for chocolate chip muffins that I ***must*** share.  Here it is:  Bakery Style Chocolate Chip Muffins.  Oh, and how they do not disappoint!  These muffins will not get stuck on the sides of your muffin tin like other muffins, leaving you sad and disappointed.  Don't you hate that?   You pull out a muffin and chips and muffin pieces remain.  Bummer!  But not with these muffins! They slid out perfectly - leaving you with beautiful muffins for your loved ones.  And yes - they are tasty and easy to make!

I made muffins today after a grueling migraine.  Alas, there were no Pop Tarts in the house and the boys needed a breakfast item for tomorrow.  Drive to the store or bake muffins?  You already knew which one won.  Am I sinner for even offering my boys Pop Tarts?  Possibly, but they do love them, and it's a breakfast item.  I do bake them cookies and/or brownies for treats in their lunch every day.  Can we have it all?  And still continue to drive around to a myriad of activities, grade papers, and try to write a novel and have a personal life?  I don't know.  It's tough.

The littles just got their driving permits.  So the fun begins!  Pretty soon they'll be independent, and I'll wonder where the time went.  Time, time, time.  I feel it creeping up on me, that time where I'll be totally alone without Kidlet A and Kidlet B, no longer baking muffins for them.

And that makes me sad...